


Havelock, Lord Vetinari vs 400,000 pounds of metal: Fight!!

by Veul_McLannon



Category: Discworld - Terry Pratchett
Genre: (kind of? it's in jest), Drumknott POV, Established Relationship, Fluff, Jealousy, M/M, Married Couple, They Are Married Your Honour
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-17
Updated: 2020-11-17
Packaged: 2021-03-10 07:28:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27609707
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Veul_McLannon/pseuds/Veul_McLannon
Summary: Drumknott is coming back to the Palace late again... truly being married to such an unfaithful spouse is the worst... has Vetinari been abandoned for a large metal lady with ten wheels who belches steam? Read on to find out!
Relationships: Rufus Drumknott/Havelock Vetinari
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	Havelock, Lord Vetinari vs 400,000 pounds of metal: Fight!!

**Author's Note:**

> First of all... guys... the response to my last fic was the nicest thing that's happened in like... a year, thank you so much T0T   
> Second of all Yes I'm capable of writing Only short fic now I don't understand plots but I hope this is nonetheless enjoyable! I don't own any of these things EXcept the ardent love for trains which is absolutely relatable and wholly understandable.

Drumknott crept into the darkened room late that night - the train had wanted a longer run than usual today, and he was held up by an overly-concerned Lipwig on the journey back. 

“Woe is me, for the light has gone from my life; gone to court another,” came tones from the depths of the room which might be characterised as melodramatic.

Drumknott stopped dead in his attempts at crossing the intentionally creaky floor in silence, winced and turned up the wall sconce. Vetinari was draped on the four-poster, still in his dressing gown, eyebrow raised pointedly. 

“And how is the lovely lady?” He asked, wedging the eyebrow firmly in place. 

“She's fi- um.” Drumknott paused and turned vainly to the ceiling for succour, biting his lip. He should have expected something like this sooner or later.

“Hm.” Black eyes glittered menacingly in the half-light.

“Well, she- it, um, the train, that is, it’s all running… running very smoothly. Sir.” This was punctuated by the smallest of nods to the ceiling as Drumknott scrambled to recover his mental faculties. He pursed his lips and turned towards the bureau, which was _safe_ and _free_ from _scrutinizing gazes_ and _sarcastic husbands._

There was a soft rustle from the direction of the bed, then a thump (the kind made when an overweight but definitely unspoiled dog hits a hardwood floor covered with a threadbare Klatchian rug).

Drumknott definitely did not jump when six feet of Assassin wrapped itself around him like a particularly dangerous octopus. That would be undignified. This is his _home_.

He did jump, however, when the six feet of Assassin began nibbling delicately at his – smoky, sweaty, no doubt engine-oil-covered – neck, squirming free as he batted at the hands constraining him.*

“Not-” he hissed, still shoving lightly at the nicely toned, black-velvet-clad chest (and at this point, he thought, he may as well just admit there wasn’t much forward momentum involved and mentally correct it to ‘patting’). “ _Later_.”

Vetinari applied an expression to his face which could only be described as a _pout_ ; Drumknott took one look and collapsed into hysterical laughter on the spot.

Collapsed against a nicely toned, black-velvet-clad chest.

Unseen by his husband, Havelock Vetinari smirked.

*For a given value of ‘constrain’. Can one truly constrain someone who doesn’t wish to leave? Certainly Vetinari was taking no chances, and backed off, Assassin training and all, at the slightest sign of malcontent.

**Author's Note:**

> Third of all, this was half-written already, I just had to finish it off, so I wouldn't say this is me Coming Back Properly... but in the new year! I hope!  
> And finally, thank you so much for reading! I hope you liked it ^^


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